Description - Regimental music echoed around the dusty shop (it was heavier than I expected) drab black and white photographs looked down from the walls upon a battered, worn trumpet of a decrepit gramophone. Action - Scrraaatch… scraping back and forth the metal razor moved, handled deftly in the grip of an expert. Dialogue - “Blast, the gramophone has broken, what will I do?” asked the Barber before receiving a reassuring pat from one of his best customers. “I’ll fix that for you.” he said.
The prompt is: it was heavier than I expected … Things to think about:
37 Comments
Mackenzie
10/16/2019 04:11:55 pm
On a stormy night Paul had run out of food [he was starving] so he slipped on his rain coat and quickly ran to the local newsagents so he could grab a quick sandwich. He walked into the shop and the bell rang to alert the shopkeeper someone had entered. "Hello," welcomed the man behind the till. Paul quickly raced to the sandwich isle. It looked like an ordinary sandwich in an ordinary shop but indeed it wasn't. When he picked it up it was heavier than he expected then as quick as a flash the sandwich sucked him in and Paul was no longer Paul he was part of a sandwich waiting for friends to come and join him...
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Mr. Tomkins
10/18/2019 11:46:29 am
Nice work Mack - watch the spelling of 'aisle' as 'isle' is a homophone meaning island! Like the Isle of Wight!
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Mattie
10/16/2019 05:00:31 pm
16 year old Lucy is NOT a normal girl . In fact she has powers , her powers are to lift up large and heavy lorries . Once , she was in a car park having to pull a very small car but she was feeling cold “this is heavier than a lorry!”and she was right it was heavier than she expected . The next day she couldn’t move a muscle so the doctor got called in he said that she was about to have a heart attack ! 10 minutes later she sadly died But two days later there was a new person who had the same power as her a week past and Lucy was alive . The new girl soon found out , and later on now they are best buddies and work as a team. :)
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Mr. Tomkins
10/18/2019 11:47:35 am
Well done Mattie. Remember you don't need to tell a whole story in your 100 words, so don't feel you have to rush a conclusion to end it.
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Beth
10/18/2019 06:39:29 pm
hi Mattie sorry to bother you but how do you get the emojis up?
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Liliah
10/27/2019 04:11:42 pm
Click on the emoji button 😉
Maisie
10/16/2019 08:06:37 pm
Lily the pixie was a ginger haired girl that was very small, every day she would wear a bright dress that had some sort of dotted pattern on the bottom of it. She was just having her afternoon snack when the door bell rang.”Coming!”she said as she used her silver key to open the door. The door opened with a loud creak. A boisterous pixie stood in front of her carrying a large box.”Hello there l was told deliver this to Miss Lily Light,”he said with a stutter.”Yes that’s me,”she took the box from the mans grip. It was heavier than she expected.”Thank you,”said the tall man “Bye now.”
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Mr. Tomkins
10/18/2019 11:48:31 am
Nice vocabulary choices Maisie. I can see the development in more accurate use of speech marks too.
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Ruby
10/17/2019 04:38:12 pm
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Mr. Tomkins
10/18/2019 11:48:59 am
Really like this Ruby - I can really see where you have used DAD too! Great effort.
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Adam
10/17/2019 06:33:36 pm
Jack was a really good exerciser; he said ''I am the best excerciser!'' so Jack gone to the weight lifting championship.It took ages to get there;he gone in a ferrari tht cost £200,it took 3 hours and Jack was really exicted, when the driver suddenly said ''Hope you win!''a minute later he sighed and drove of in a slight pace. When he gone Jack went into a huge building what caught his misterious eye was his family (his mum and dad) were all shouting and chering at him !
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Mr. Tomkins
10/18/2019 11:49:49 am
Great effort Adam but it is too long to put on 100WC unfortunately - the skill is to slim it down so it's a short and powerful piece of writing. I know you can do it!
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Adam
10/19/2019 09:18:23 am
Ok mr . Tomkins
Liliah
10/20/2019 06:28:34 pm
Adam did 412 words!
Charlie
10/17/2019 06:41:23 pm
Today,at Upton upon severn, Charlie decided to move house as other people would have it for more money than where he longed to go . In Spain, he was fascinated by there language so he wanted to move there. The problem was that he had a really big television that he wanted to keep. He called his friend, whose name was Paul, to help him move it to his luggage van. "Lets move this TV Paul," Charlie said.
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Mr. Tomkins
10/18/2019 11:51:13 am
Good effort - I like the fronted adverbials on your sentences. Try to use DAD to help with sentence openers.
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Emma
10/17/2019 07:20:04 pm
Beautifully , Violet elf skipped towards the stone cave that contained hundreds of crystal clear diamonds. Thoughtful about how to get in to the cave another friend rushed to stand beside and also wanted to get in the stone cave."I shall just pull the Boulder in it till it budges,"said Violet .Confidently she pushed" it is heavier than I expected," she finally whispered
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Mr. Tomkins
10/18/2019 11:51:59 am
Brilliant use of DAD Emma and you've kept to the word count. Well done!
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Joe
10/17/2019 07:50:27 pm
One stormy night,there was this boy named Zack he was stuck in a shop that just got obliterated by a deadly lightning bolt.He tried to lift it but it was heavier than he expected, he wanted to give up but then at that moment he saw a glimpse of something brightly coloured.Suddenly the figure arrived at his feet and lifted up the shop,well what’s left of it,with ease he thought it should of be 10 tons .As Quick as a flash the thing bolted away,with a few cuts and bruises he walked back home.
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Mr. Tomkins
10/18/2019 11:57:43 am
Some great vocabulary choices - I particularly like 'obliterated'! I was slightly confused what 'it' was in the second sentence.
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Josh
10/17/2019 07:55:27 pm
Sam (as you know he was an astronaut) has only been in his home watching TV he thought he would be a bumbler for the day he specialised in wrestling programms and thought he should change his mind - even though it would take an awful lot of practice and determination to become a champion wrestler like the ones on TV- but dreaming was way worth the practice, so instantly he turned off his TV raced to his car and drove off to the gym he was only wanting to do the bench press and the almighty deadlift that absolutely no-one could complete he ran over to the bench press and lay down on it. He was about to lift the weight up till he thought I really need to force it so with all his might, and after a few shakes and struggles, he finally lifted it and felt muscles forming in his arms he was starting to get the hang of it up down up down the weight went Sam thought he was ready he slipped out and walked up to the DEADLIFT! Crowds of people followed Sam, eager to see it happen. He stood at it ready to lift it he took a deep breath and he lifted it 3 centimetres from the floor then 10 then 50 and finally a metre! Lots of people fainted, some screamed and some went running off to tell the owner what had happened. As soon as he came out, he awarded Sam with a trophy he said "What is your name?"
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Mr. Tomkins
10/18/2019 11:52:49 am
Well done Josh, be careful not to go over your word count! Nice use of speech punctuation and paragraphing. It's coming on well!
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Charlie
10/18/2019 07:55:32 am
Mr Tomkins, I don't think that mine is on there😢😢
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Mr. Tomkins
10/18/2019 11:54:31 am
It definitely is and it's on 100wc.net too! :-)
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Mr. Tomkins
10/18/2019 11:58:14 am
I have uploaded the above on to 100wc.net - you can comment on yours and others work if you head to the site over the weekend!
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benl
10/18/2019 04:02:16 pm
'Oi grab that one ,' shouted the man to his partner,
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Patricia
10/18/2019 04:36:34 pm
I carefully stood up,as the sun shone brightly in my face. It was morning a brand new day.
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Beth
10/18/2019 06:35:00 pm
Lilly was not liked the rest of us in fact she was only 12 and yet she had a job as a barmaid it is highly unlikely that she could get a job at age 12.One day I ordered a black label whiskey so of I went to fill it up .In 5 minutes I came back with a full glass of this whiskey which was rather unusual because we never saw myself get it from a bottle. I had a sip of the drink and it was heaver than I expected so I took it back and complained that it was lighter than black label.
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Flora
10/18/2019 07:44:42 pm
Michael was a friendly village boy and he lived in an old cottage on the outskirts of Upton. Michael was walking his dog Buddy. Just then he saw a big bag of money. “It was heavier than I expected!” he said to the news reporter. The bag had a big word written on it. Professionals say that this was an ancient potato sack that was about 100 years old. “What are we going to do with all this money?” he said to his surprised mother.
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Poppy
10/18/2019 09:01:13 pm
On Monday it was paige's birthday and she really wanted a new Segway. So her Mum went to the shop and found one in Argos. It was Monday and Paig jumped out of bed and went downstairs. Her parents were waiting for her In the Living room."Go on open it!" Her dad said putting down his tea.
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Poppy
10/18/2019 09:03:28 pm
I forgot to add in the words it was ment to go in after she stood up to give her mum a hug
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Aiden
10/20/2019 10:00:11 am
One desperate morning, there was a boy called Jeff when Jeff was looking on the internet he saw a Segway so he looked at the description and it said it was £356 pound and 1989 grams .I asked my mum for the Segway but his mum said “ you have to do some chores an then u might get it ,” so it took him 4 hours to do it but he got there in the end . He’s mum surprised him with a better and cool but it was heavier than I expected but I still didn’t care so I went out side and had an enjoyable time on it !
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Daisy Gower
10/20/2019 03:28:26 pm
Sophia heard a knock at the door.She jumped off the sofa to meet the postman.
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Oscar
10/20/2019 06:44:00 pm
One day Jack , the boy who didnt have any friends , was sat on his bed feeling quite bored. Whilst he was sat on his bed he looked up onto the shelf and saw his trophy that his mum had put up there he decided that he wanted to look at it so he he grabbed it and pulled it off. BANG,it was heavier than he expected.”Oh no, the trophy has cracked!”Exclaimed Jack , “What am i going to do?”
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Liliah
10/20/2019 07:40:29 pm
Comet Girl
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Emma
10/27/2019 06:26:44 pm
I have been singled on the 100wc.
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Emma
10/27/2019 06:36:34 pm
I was not expecting that Liliah told me
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